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sophie@doulasophie.nl

Can a doula give unbiased & biased support at the same time?

No opinions, no pressure, no assumptions. Just busy making sure you feel supported in the process every moment of the way!!


With every birth I support I realise a little more just how important non-judgemental, unbiased doula support is. YES! A doula can and, in my opinion, should be unbiased in her support?

This means I will always support you no matter what! I am the only one in the room that can do that without any responsibility for an outcome.

I used to believe that unbiased support meant that any choice my client makes is fine, as long as they know all the choices they have. However, it has taken a long time, and over 200 births, to realise that this belief does not encompass all that unbiased support means.

It can be complex.

The extent that people want to know the choices they have is different with each client I support. Some people make their decisions by doing research and others don’t, some women feel connected to the birth process and others see it as a means to an end. Some women have a history that drives their decisions and others are happy to just let the doctor or midwife decide. I don’t need to change that and I do not need to put all the choices before you if you are not asking for them.

From a planned induction to a vaginal breech birth, from wanting continual monitoring to requesting an early epidural, from wishing to stay out of the bed during labour to planning a home birth with your children around you. You are capable of making decisions and yes, even when you are having contractions!

I will meet you, get to know you and go on a journey with you to discover how you are wired and what it is you need to have a good birthing experience.

That journey is our whole time together from the first to the last meeting with the birth of your baby somewhere in between. Things change on journeys and twists and turns happen on the road to becoming a parent. Good, realistic preparation makes for less surprises during labour and better navigation of those unexpected twists and turns, because believe me, those twists and turns will happen! You can’t plan birth!

Supporting couples from many different cultures and backgrounds has shown me that there are many reasons and experiences that make us the way we are and that influence how we make decisions.

It is my job to ensure you feel supported in the process, in whatever choices you make and with whatever conviction you make them.

As your doula, I will gently say ‘Do you have all the information you need to make this decision and do you have any questions?’ and when possible I will try to facilitate the time and space for you to process.

No opinions, no pressure, no assumptions. 

I am not perfect, it is not always easy but I try my hardest to hold up this value.

Non judgemental & unbiased support!


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